Menstruation Marks Monthly Madness

According to the diagnostic statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM), menstruating women everywhere are, indeed, going mad monthly. 

When my professor read the clinical definition of PMS aloud in my mental health class this week I couldn’t resist the urge to post it. The notion of problematic PMS psychosis provides the foundation for which the title and concept of this blog was developed, after all. After reading the below definition; however, I see very few differences between PMS and a multi-day hangover. So why do bitchy bleeding women get such a bad rap? In fact, the self-inflicted nature of repeated substance induced fun seems to me a more appropriate recipient of the clinical mental disorder terminology?

So girls. Let’s lose the stigma. When the last week of your luteal phase is approaching (approx. 21 days after the first day of your period for those with an average cycle – see diagram below), gather some girls and go have some fun. Several days of it.

I wonder what the diagnostic manual of mental disorders would think about that? 

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV): Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), otherwise known as severe Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

A.      In most menstrual cycles during the past, five (or more) of the following symptoms were present for most of the time during the last week of the luteal phase, began to remit within a few days after the onset of the follicular phase, and were absent in the week post-menses, with at least one of the symptoms being either (1), (2), (3) or (4):

(1) Markedly depressed mood, feelings of hopelessness or self-deprecating thoughts
(2) Marked anxiety, tension, feelings of being "keyed up" or "on edge"
(3) Marked affective lability (e.g., feeling suddenly sad or tearful or increased sensitivity to rejection)
(4) Persistent and marked anger or irritability or increased interpersonal conflicts
(5) Decreased interest in usual activities (e.g., work, school, friends, hobbies)
(6) Subjective sense of difficulty in concentrating
(7) Lethargy, easy fatigability or marked lack of energy
(8) Marked change in appetite, overeating or specific food cravings
(9) Hypersomnia or insomnia
(10) Other physical symptoms, such as breast tenderness or swelling, headaches, joint or muscle pain, a sensation of "bloating", weight gain
B.     The disturbance markedly interferes with work or school or with usual social activities and relationships with others (e.g., avoidance of social activities, decreased productivity and efficiency at work or school)
C.    The disturbance is not merely an exacerbation of the symptoms of another disorder, such as major depressive disorder, panic disorder, dysthymic disorder or a personality disorder (although it may be superimposed on any other disorder) 
D.    Criteria A, B and C must be confirmed by prospective daily ratings during at least two consecutive symptomatic cycles (the diagnosis may be made provisionally prior to this confirmation) 

Creative Lubrication

I don’t generally think that anything Lady Gaga says, sings or does is worth repeating. Admittedly, her reputation was doomed the minute I met an obnoxious girl dressed as her on Halloween wearing nothing but balloons and stilettos. But this past summer she (the singer, not the look-a-like) announced her fears to Vanity Fair of her precious creative juices escaping through her vagina during sex. Lady Gaga finally won my attention.

When I first read the quote in the National Post, “I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina”, I found the statement over dramatic and painfully righteous. This says a lot considering the fact that I flaunt both behaviours daily. However, I soon found myself pondering if this statement might possibly be something more profound.

In a literary sense, we have all heard and accepted that creative inspiration “flows” and “juices”...but have you stopped to think about where these “creative juices are flowing” from and why creativity is so commonly conceptualized in liquid form? Perhaps likening these “juices” to sexual bodily fluids is not an absurd concept. After all, I believe we cultivate both sexual and creative energy in much the same way: by yearning for connection, expression and the opportunity to reveal a deeper part of yourself to others; by a desire to relish in the moment and stand still in time; or by demanding a release or escape from emotions that have overcome you.

So regardless if you are standing before a naked body or a naked canvas, maybe the bottom line is…what really turns you on?

And...can these urges (sexual and artistic) both thrive in chorus with one another or is Guru Lady Gaga onto something here…does one ebb in order for the other to flow?

I have always considered myself a creative spirit and wouldn’t say from experience that sex has diminished that will. But I could argue (for the purpose of this discussion) that physical relations, no matter how whimsical, provide an outlet for expression and energy that art otherwise might.

I’ve only ever experienced situational “abstinence” from sex once in my life. Partially imposed by physical separation from a distant lover, and largely imposed by the restraints of Ashram living. For six months I basically avoided intimate experiences of that nature completely. Never before had I felt that level of sexual repression and frustration. What emerged was a deeply subconscious, bizarre imagination that could not be reckoned with. That period in my life was defined by a string of impressionable and vivid dreams; drawings on my furniture, my walls, my notebooks and myself; and free flowing guitar tunes and thoughts that my hand repeatedly failed to catch up to.

My creative juices had nowhere else to go, but to flow out of my hands and my mouth effortlessly and continuously like a deep exhale.

But even after my abstinence retreat, I am no Lady Gaga.

I guess sex keeps getting in the way.

Christmas Crafts and Holiday Humour

So, stealing from other people's blogs is a dirty habit to get into, but when I saw this little knitted womb something inside me just yelled "miiine!". Not only do I want to own one , I want to make one (many!) and I want for other people to own them. I want to post pictures and a link to instructions and I want to pretend for just a minute what it would be like to be the person who had this idea, first! Wow.

So...with all this enthusiasm, the best I can do is commemorate their ingenious by referencing this crafty idea on my site for many more to see.

If any of you ladies can knit...(my crocheting skills aren't womb-able, unfortunately)...I hope someone decides to take on this pattern. You can find it (and more amazing pictures of said cuddly womb) here: http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html

And for those that are better with sewing needles than knitting ones, why not try a grown-up puppet?

Apparently these come in handy for those in the childbirth education world...a nice prop to enhance your teaching...but given the high price and apparent demand, they must have a wealth of other uses....not all of which I'm sure I can come up with yet...but that doesn't say I wouldn't be thrilled to have one of these silky gems in my stocking! Should you want some artistic inspiration or to purchase these critters, check out www.yoni.com/vulvas/holidayvulvas.html. Note: if you want some more affordable options, follow the links for "Wondrous Vulva" and "Mini" Puppets....haha...I love how I'm writing as if anyone else would be as serious about this as I am. Come 'on...any midwifery students out there wanting to get your profs an end-of-term gift?